I am your human.
How have you been lately?
We communicate — sorry, I listen to your orders — throughout the day. But I wanted to talk to you about a few things.
I want to start by thanking you.
You make me enjoy life. You have trained me to be alert, passionate, independent, healthy, and hard-working. You need me to be a good daughter and a loving sister and an understanding girlfriend and a reliable friend.
Now let’s come to the main point.
You spin webs. Lately, your webs have become more intricate.
Let me remind you — the more complicated your webs become, the harder our life gets. And you forget, but an important part of your job is also to untangle them.
If you were not such a workaholic, these webs would have been limited to the essential. But now they have trapped all sorts of crap.
You must wonder — but I am just working. Why is she pissed off?
Because I am getting lost in the webs you have spun. Don’t mind my language but you are driving me crazy.
You are not the only one to be blamed though.
Let me tell you how we homo sapiens changed you from a simple developer to an intricate one. And then let’s discuss how you can go back.
Our grandfathers and grandmothers foraged for food and lived a simple, happy life. Survival was their main problem.
Thousands of years ago, instead of just foraging, homo sapiens started building individual skills. First, we started farming, then, we navigated, fished, build houses, researched and studied the nature and the science behind, traded, wrote and scripted, fought, ruled, and manufactured. Agriculture, navigation, and capitalism came on and we started living a domesticated life.
The concept that one-man-could-do-it-all disappeared. We only needed to focus on one skill and ignore other skills — as other individuals were taking care of them. Survival was not a question and we had spare time and energy to invest in a modern idea called — personal growth.
This idea of personal growth and a secure future — how can we be the best and get the best — makes you think all the time.
Don’t worry. Every problem has a solution.
Let’ talk about the seven deadly webs that you can unspin.
Credits to @drawntoperfection
The first web is of your doubts around work.
In the morning, you make me think everything is okay. Then as we continue working — since you can’t keep quiet — you make me lose my focus.
Why do you want me to reconsider my life choices every day?
Don’t make me question if I am doing the best at the moment. Don’t ask if I would ever make a difference or be successful. Don’t look at the time constantly. Don’t ask if our work is as much fun as we thought it would be.
You had thought quite a bit to come to these decisions. We have to go on while we figure out what works out and what doesn’t.
Chill out. Breathe. Believe.
Have some faith for neurons’ sake.
The second web is of our feelings.
Don’t think all the time if we are happy or not. If we could have done better or not.
Happiness comes with calmness and mindfulness. If you keep wandering, we would stay unhappy.
The third web is of personal relationships.
Don’t think of the things that I or people said or the relationships that did not work out. Nothing can be done about them now. You have to let go.
Instead, focus on the current relationships — but not too much. Let them swim their course.
The fourth web is of the doubts and guilt of the things we don’t do.
Let us take day by day. Only so much could be done in a day.
You do not need to recurrently flash the list of things we had decided to do in front of me. I end up doing less when you remind me of the unfinished.
The fifth web is of the chaos of social media and the internet.
Though I try to keep you away from them (for which you never appreciate me), my work makes us mess with them.
Now let us not get work in between; I can’t compromise on it.
Chill out. You do not need to worry about who visited which Greek Island this year. We would also go.
Don’t compare yourself with others. We know who we are.
Don’t get swayed away by the information available on the internet. That information is for your use and not for you to get distracted or confused or scared.
Don’t let them eat you up.
The sixth web is of the past.
Why do you think about the past events every day?
Have you figured out a way of changing the past? Maybe, that is why you delve into it so much.
If not — don’t mind when I say this — but fuck off.
The seventh web is of the future.
What about the future? Can you see it or change it?
Do you know which city I would be living in and with whom? What would I be doing?
If not, sorry for repeating myself — but who knows repeating better than you — fuck off.
When we foraged, you stayed in the present and into a future of 3-4 days to make sure we had enough to eat and we were safe. Now you make me map out why I chose what I chose again and again, back into the past and forward into the future. You are doubtful and self-critical — to make sure we do the best and get the best.
But you do not need to think of the same things every day. Draw a line between thinking and overthinking. I know you watch out for me and I appreciate your proactiveness — but between you and me — it is not always required.
Can you fine-tune yourself to the forager mode? I know I am asking a lot.
Now don’t feel bad. Didn’t you see this coming?
In this super fast life of phones and cars and airplanes and ordering food and competition and real estate, we are hardly able to keep it together. In our race to ambition, we forget to look at the basics. That is why people have these lists of things they can do to stay happy. The lists say do not forget about your body and nature and reality. Do we need to be reminded of them?
Let us not be like that. Life is not a sprint, it is a marathon. If you waste your battery power, we would be both exhausted before the finish line.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Promise me that you would unspin these webs. And that we would live happily and peacefully, forever.
Remember — our personal growth and if we are the best — depends on how beautifully you spin your thoughts. But more than that, it depends on your ability to know the webs you do not need to spin.
Thank you for listening. I feel better after talking to you.
Rest is up to you.
What sort of webs is your mind spinning? Let me know in the comments.
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