What Did Staying in Touch with My Ex-Boyfriend Teach Me About Life – And About Myself

After years of struggle, I broke up with the man I had wished to spend the rest of my life with. Then I flew to the other end of the world. In that foreign land, I picked up a million tiny parts of mine and weaved them again. Then I breathed life into that lifeless me. After a year, I returned to the old city and happened to rent an apartment in his vicinity.

I thought I had moved on. And I had. I am with someone else now, and I love my current partner most earnestly.

Also Read: Why Do We Need a Life Partner and Where to Find One

But when I meet the old fellow, the mind works most intriguingly and pulls out buried memories and swirls them around until I am sucked into a whirlpool of heavy nostalgia. The throat chokes as if something has happened. Something terrible and beyond my control. I feel helpless. Alone, again. I crouch on my bed. A gush of tears rushes out my glossy eyes. I feel like doing nothing. Then I tell the past and the present partner how I feel, and they say whatever they can to make me feel better.

I had thought that after a break up you could completely erase someone from your life and push him or her out of your mind. But even after all these years of constructing a life far away from the ex, I realize that he can just walk in on the feet of memories.

I thought hard about what I was doing wrong. How come I still hadn’t moved on? Then I understood that moving on wasn’t the problem. After all, I am content with my partner. My humanness was the protagonist of this drama.

The people who were part of your life would always remain a part of your life. They won’t overshadow your sky, but it would still have hues and shades of them. And that’s okay. The memories that they stir might upset you, but remember that they created those memories. You can be at peace only by giving those colorful emotions a place to rest in your painting. Not by aggressively trying to change the canvas or by repainting on them. The new colors would find a place for themselves, and then all of these would coalesce to paint your life in the most beautiful manner, only if you let them.

Also Read: Why Relationships are Important and How to Build Them

I occasionally meet my ex and let the waves of the past carry me in sinuous paths. And why shouldn’t I? We shall never push out even one person who cares about us and would come to help on our one call.

Instead of forcing people out, we should try and accept them. And then enjoy the rainbows in our sky even on the most stifling days 🙂


What do you do to heal from a break-up? Would love to hear from you.


  1. Marlys December 13, 2018 at 6:56 am

    A beautiful short memoir and tale of how our emotions and feelings will never completely leave us, but we change and adust to circumstances, as we must.
    The other comments are incorrect I believe (other writer sounds like a guy!)

    1. Priyanka Gupta December 13, 2018 at 6:40 pm

      Thank you, Marlys, for reading the blog. I am glad you liked this heartfelt story 🙂 You are right, we never completely forget, but circumstances change. I know that the other comment is not right, but I am not sure if the writer is a man or a woman. Does it matter?

      1. Arijit Basu May 10, 2019 at 11:41 pm

        Awesome response – yes, why should it matter what race, gender and/or sexuality of a person is? You certainly proved to be the bigger person. Good on you!

        1. Priyanka Gupta May 11, 2019 at 12:38 pm

          Thank you so much, Arijit, for understanding. It doesn’t matter. Please stay connected and keep reading 🙂

  2. Bill July 11, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Truth is you are still in love with the ex, and the current dude is a compromise. Deep down you know it and feel it, and so do the dudes. The ex won’t say it because he’s a decent human being, and the current dude just won’t admit it to himself, though just like you deep down he knows.

    1. Priyanka Gupta July 12, 2018 at 1:36 pm

      haha. Thanks for this beautiful insight, but I don’t think so. I am very happy in my current relationship, and I am glad that I broke up with the ex. My current partner is one of those men that are on the verge of extinction, peaceful in the chaos, giving in the ever-ambitious race of humans, and adjusting when no-one even moves an inch for the other person.
      Those were just some bottled-up memories which surfaced when I saw the ex, and it is natural that that would happen. Thanks for reading and commenting though.


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