Priyanka Gupta

About a decade ago, I graduated with a B.Tech. in Computer Science and Engineering from the Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi (IITD). In 2016, five years into an evolving investment banking career, I quit my job. Now I’m an itinerant writer. On my blog On My Canvas I write about alternative ways of living and exploring. My aim is to live by asking why rather than blindly following someone before me. And while I’m out challenging the norms, or if we may say, looking at things more with curiosity rather than habit or tradition, I share and write what I experience and learn. I read a lot of science and books (and science books), too. Personal growth ideas, cruising through the choppy waters of our emotional selves, writing tips, cultural biases, meditations from individual books, and travel narratives — you will find them all on my blog. Welcome!

What is Mindfulness and How to Become Mindful?

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What is Mindfulness? What can we learn from Buddha’s mindfulness to live a better modern day, practical life?

The meditation, Yoga, and spirituality guru Osho said that when you are not thinking about the past or future or now contains all the time and there is no then — when a cuckoo calling, a train passing, a dog barking, is all you hear — when this is all and there is no that — when the world here is your whole reality and there is no there — you are in the state of sammasati or mindfulness.

You are absolutely present. Then you reflect and engage in reality without any distraction or expectation.

Mindfulness or awareness is to know what you are doing and why you are doing it.

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Backpacking South America was one of the best decisions that I ever took. And the nine months I spent there is the shining skyline of my chaotic life.

As I returned back and tried to stand straight on Indian grounds again, someone told me about a writing competition that was looking for entries from women who had traveled solo to South America.

Yes, I was one of those women.

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Why do we need a purposeful, meaningful life?

We are born, play around, attend school and college, get a job, set up a family, and then die. Each one of us — hopefully — adds something to the world; we evolve, the human race becomes smarter, and this repeats.

In the end, we do not get out alive, then why does everything — a broken relationship, a layoff, a fight at work, a stomach ache, a smartwatch — matter so much? What is all of this adding up to? Evolution?

All of this is adding up to these moments that the life is collectively composed of.

Why is it important to have a meaning in our life? So that all these moments together sing a melodious song and not blare out a cacophonous cry.

in lake titicaca living a nomadic life solo traveler priyanka gupta

Why I Travel

Since I started traveling relentlessly for the past few years, my friends, family, and everyone else started asking me that why do people travel so much, what did I do for six months in Chile traveling alone, what did I see, how did I feel in a country where I couldn’t even speak the language, how did I manage to travel for so long, and how did my family react?

They say I’m lucky I get to travel so much.

I smile. I lecture everybody that they can travel, too. I ask them why don’t they take a sabbatical and go? I elaborate on why traveling is important even though no one might be listening.

People laugh. They shake their heads as if I had asked them to do the impossible. They say it is not easy. What would their parents say? Their boss won’t allow. They are settled with their partners. Traveling would be too expensive.

They think these are unique problems. And they don’t get that why do people travel so much.

As I travel a lot myself, I understand why people leave their homes and travel around the world. In this poetic essay, I will tell you why do I travel and why traveling is important.

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Over the years, I have approached various men — both successfully and unsuccessfully.

I initiated the flirting and conversations and intimacy. I have realized expression makes everything easier. Don’t bottle up your feelings for long — unless expression would ruin everything.

Think what is the worst that can happen.

In college, I approached a friend — we used to gel well together — but he acted as if there was nothing. Hurt, I acted stupid, and this rejection gave me the best-drunk story of my life. More on that in another article.

All of us — men and women — think that we need seductive powers to approach people. No. Approaching people — some of whom might be our romantic interests — need confidence and social skills. It is not a mission — it is a day to day activity. You need to make people comfortable around you. No magic tricks, no email courses, no guides, no love gurus can teach you this.

To understand how to approach women, let us look at what are women exactly looking for.

I was unsure about this topic but then I thought of all friends, their friends, colleagues, men and women on internet and dating applications or marriage websites (this is specific to India) — looking for a date, a relationship, a life partner. Someone to share spaghetti and a glass of red wine at the end of the day or a samosa and a chai in the evening. To watch a movie on a Saturday night tucked in bed with grilled chicken on plate and whiskey on the rocks in glasses. To go for an impromptu drive in rain on a Friday evening with classical music on the radio. A post-Sunday-lunch nap with soft music in the background.

We all have friends, family, roommates, work, paychecks, hobbies, goals but we all need someone to look at us with a burning warmth in their eyes. To say that we mean the world to them. To say that they won’t be able to live without us. They crave that one hug of ours in the morning. They want us to bear their children, sleep the rest of the nights in one bed, and celebrate Diwali and Christmas together. When they see a slight cut on our finger, they overreact. They hold our hands and tell us that everything would be all right.

I thought this day would never come, but I am six days away from turning 30. I would have to change both the digits of my age in all the pre-filled internet forms.

A twenty-something me was working for software and finance giants, partying with friends, upset with family, trying to hold onto people that I should have let go, roaming around the world on my own, falling in love knowing that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere and feeling shattered when the obvious happened, cooking in restaurants, almost leaving for Italy to attend a culinary course, stranded at South American borders, and saying things that should have been kept private; I was unsure of what I wanted.

Also Read: Why should you let your life flow – Lessons inspired by Rainer Maria Rilke.

Once when I was in the sixth grade, I asked my sister to make sandwiches for my school picnic. A string of events occurred, and she declared I was selfish.

I realized I was more interested in getting my work done, rather than the feelings and responses of other people (understanding emotions is a must read). The acknowledgment that I was a bad person and people knew about it was suffocating. I understood that I would be left alone if I did not change.

I consciously tried to become a better person by caring for other people and by showing that I cared.

Why are relationships important?

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Whose shoes shall I wear to mull over James Damore’s memo?

By now you would know who James Damore is? An ex-Google employee who got fired as he tried to explain why there are so few women in Computer Science.

Should I be — a class topper who outperformed all boy students in mathematics and physics throughout school, the only female software engineer in a batch of sixty-nine boys, a writer who wants to bring balance into the world, a data-driven individual, a laid-off former employee of a well-known finance giant, a feminist in denial face, a woman who wants to be called intelligent rather than beautiful, an observer who has seen passionate women outperform men specifically in computer science and engineering or someone who acknowledges and accepts the differences between men and women?

None of the above.

Manipulating Consciousness to Live Happier

What is Consciousness?

Neuroscientist Anil Seth says, each fraction of a second, millions of neurons work in your brain to generate your conscious self-experience — your experience of the world around you and of yourself within it. Without consciousness, there is no self, nothing.

Our brain receives signals from outside and also, inside. The signals that the brain gets from inside are not only of our experience but of millions of years of experience that has been passed through our DNA. Consciousness is an interception of two different signals: coming from outside (the sound and smell and noises and information) and coming from inside (of yourself and based on your beliefs and information).